Quick Update

•10/20/2014 • Leave a Comment

Haven’t really been exercising much, but my diet has improved significantly.  Unfortunately I drank a decent amount this weekend and feel pretty shitty today even though I wanted to hit the gym.  Tonight I’m going to:

1. Make a healthy salad/dinner.

2. Get my phone fixed (it’s full making it work like shit) and see if I can get my new (to me) desktop computer booting.

3. Do 3 sets of 15 pushups and 100 situps at home.

4. Get stuff packed in containers to bring in lunch food to work.

5. Shower and sleep before midnight.

I wrote a list of reasons I shouldn’t be working at my current job.  It spanned nearly 2 pages.  I felt shitty from not sleeping nearly the entire night (was kind of food-sick or something) but writing that list helped.  This week I need to pick a night and hammer out my resume/update my linked in.

On a semi-related note, despite my finances being in a pretty shitty state overall, if I calculate based only on my rent/utilities expenses, I’ve got just over 6 months worth saved up.

Not quite a fuck you fund, but that gives me a little peace of mind that I could probably go a full quarter if I needed to with just cash on hand.  It’s starting to become a high enough number that I wonder what the best way to keep cash would be that I can still access it in a pinch, but that isn’t just a stack of cash that someone could grab and run off with if they found it.

Checking In

•10/15/2014 • 2 Comments

So as per yesterday’s post:

1. Loaded up on healthy food.  Bought a household item I’ve been needing to assist in keeping things clean.

2. Weighed in just shy of 202 lbs.  I was afraid I was over 200.  Hit the stationary bike next to a guy that bartends in my favorite spot so I could talk to him and maintain the locked-down status.  Turns out he has a similar injury to me so we talked quite a bit on it.  15 minutes of significant intensity and I decided to stick with my desire to hit the rowing machine.  Set it to 7/10 intensity.  Default when turning it on was 2,000 meter, so I bumped that to 5,000 which might be too damn much.

Maintained just barely above a 2:00 per 500 m rate, roughly 30 RPM, then about halfway through had to bump the intensity down to 6/10, but maintained my RPM, slowly dropping to just below a 2:30 per 500 meter rate.  I was fucking pumping the whole time.  Almost stopped a number of times as I was breathing fucking hard.  Was trying to maintain one breath in on the return and one breath out on the stroke.  My lungs were on fire.  Felt good.  Walked home and was immediately feeling sore.  Total time for the 5k meter was roughly 23 minutes.

Intensity was good, at some points I didn’t think I was going to make 5,000 meters without dropping way off my rowing pace and distance covered per time.  I made it though.

3.Healthy dinner yes, snacked a little late night, but not too much.  Was in bed for 8 hours sleep, probably got 7-7.5 after looking at my phone for far too long.

 

Headed out from work way late, pissed off about it because it’s not my doing outside of my choice to still be working here.  Fucking annoyed.  Was supposed to hang out with the girl but instead I’m at work fixing people’s fuckups.  Debating just having her stay home instead of coming over.

Things I’m unhappy with

•10/14/2014 • 2 Comments

Health – Need a procedure that is costly and will have some significant downtime in order to be able to really be an athlete again.  I need to sort out how to afford it or how to get good enough insurance to cover it.  I’ve been getting progressively fatter.  I can tell.  I may not be crazy heavier, but my muscle mass is not there and my fat mass really has grown.  My diet has been way too much unhealthy and fast food/restaurant food.  This is disconcerting especially when having a pretty thing/in shape girl.  No need to give her reason to lose interest physically.

Finances/Employment – I basically haven’t built any side work into successful business in much of any sense of the word.  I take that back.  I did take some initiative and sublet my extra bedroom instead of finding a long-term roommate, but now I have a short term roommate in there without any huge benefit to me but stability and some time savings.  I haven’t made any significant progress on becoming self employed and worse, haven’t made any movement on becoming better employed.

Organization/Drive – This is an overall topic that I need to improve on in order to improve many aspects of my life.

I’m not sure which of these is more crucial, but I think they are both huge glaring issues I need to address if I want to become happier.

Last night I slept horribly.  As a sign of growing unhappiness I find myself going to sleep later and later (and for no good reason…I wouldn’t mind going to bed late if anything at home were better organized/addressed) and then getting up later and later.

The only slight positive in both of the above topics is that overall my health isn’t really horrible and financially, I have managed to stack between 3-4 months of basic living expenses if I were to lose my job.  Not super comforting, but it has been nice to watch that stack grow bit by bit.

So, now that I’ve laid out what I’m unhappy with (major items), the next step is to sort out what and how I’m going to implement actionable solutions.

I don’t have any specific long term plans, but there’s no better time than the present.  If it’s a priority it’s what you’re working on NOW.  Tonight I’ll do three things:

1. Grocery store to load up on healthy food on the way home.

2. Gym for weigh-in and minimum an hour of cardio/light weights.

3. Healthy dinner, plan/prepare lunch and snacks for tomorrow, in bed for minimum 8 hours sleep before work.

Checking in on myself tomorrow.

You are in charge, even if she’s on top

•10/09/2014 • 1 Comment

 

My comment in response to the question at the end of Riv’s post.  Quoted below, you can see his full post here.

 

anyway, point is, AO this part is very hot:

I had my girl ride me last night, yet I had a fistful of her hair and was talking to her right in her ear in between deep kisses, smacks on the ass, running my other hand all over her body. She came hard, following up with doing everything in her power to get me to come, incredibly turned on.

final comment:

talking to her right in her ear

what did you say?

 

My response:
I just realized you asked me what I said to her right in her ear. I don’t recall at this point, wish I did. I’d say it was something like:

AO: “Whose pussy is that?”
her: *almost inaudible, in between short but heavy breathing* “yours”
AO: “What?” *squeezing fist that has her hair intertwined in the fingers*
her: *louder this time* “yours, sir”

*few moments pass where I alternate between smacking her ass with my other hand and running it over her ass, her lower back, her thighs, her tits*

AO: “You liked sucking my dick earlier didn’t you”
her: *nods head, continues grinding on my dick*
AO: “You know when you suck it good like that it almost feels like your pussy right now”
her: *pussy gets even wetter/tighter, she starts grinding even harder/slower*
AO: “Oh you want to come for me now?”
her: “yes sir”
AO: “dirty girl. You know the next time I see you I’m not going to say a word, I’m just going to give you a look..you know…that look. I’ll grab the back of your hair just like this and bend you over and smack your ass until you moan….then I’m going to pull down your pants and shove my dick inside you and fuck you roughly…”
her: “Oh my god…”
AO: “Oh yeah?”
her: *nodding head and biting her lip*
AO: “Ask me for permission to come”
her: *nearly breathless…she can barely get it out, her breasts heaving* “please sir, can I come?”
AO: “Yes…come for me…I’m going to fuck you until you come…and then keep fucking you and fucking you and fucking you…”

She’s pushed over the edge…right after she finished coming/convulsing I give her a “good girl” and “that’s my baby girl” and give her a minute to rest/recover before I proceed with the rest.

Catch and Release

•10/07/2014 • Leave a Comment

Hung out with new roommate and his girl. I think she’s attracted to me. Went out with a buddy and his fucking huge brother who I normally try to avoid. The brother was being okay so I kept hanging out with them. Went to a few different spots looking for girls as my buddy is newly single. Found one little smokeshow with her two bangable but not that hot friends. She was being a bitch, the huge brother buys us all shots on my buddy’s tab (so lame), she leaves despite both guys being damn attractive and spitting reasonable game (something was up with her, she was especially cunty).

My buddy and his brother hang out but then end up leaving, the other two girls start talking to me, I’m total cool guy with a cocky/asshole side. The one wants to fuck me bad, is in a 6 year relationship. The other is pretending she doesn’t want me but I outright tell her I know she’s attracted to me and she can’t deny it. She’s a psychologist so I start fucking with their heads hard, pretty entertaining. They parked by my place so I’m walking them back and tell them they gotta come over for a minute. Had no intention of banging them but man the one had such a fucking sexy body I didn’t mind hanging.

Get to the place and roommate is still up with his girl out on the patio, I grab the girls some water before they go and they chat around then I kick ‘em out. No reason to fuck up my girl situation now, but man was that fun/funny. My buddy and his brother went home empty handed and I caught and threw back both of the girls that stayed. My body was hurting pretty bad from drinking all the leftover shots that the girls didn’t take. Oops.

Poker, beer, and dreams on the couch

•09/30/2014 • 2 Comments

Last night I fell asleep on my couch, surrounded by empty pizza boxes and bottles of beer, and my 9 seater felt poker table (I haven’t cleaned up since a recent poker home game in which I won both games played).

I dreamed about meeting Dan Bilzerian in some kind of crazy situation. I just remember him smiling at me in a “you da man, I’m da man” kind of way. He seemed a little skinnier than I’ve seen pictures of him.

I also dreamed about doing a shitload of pushups to failure.

I then woke up and kept hearing this really strange sound so I pulled out my trusty Maglight and walked all around my house. Not able to identify the sound I walked down the alley in the dark and heard some cans rattling around coming from a neighbors yard. I peaked over the fence and lit up the yard and was face to face with a possum rustling through a bunch of cans. It sat there frozen, looking at me. I would’ve thought I dreamt it, but the Maglight was next to my bed when I woke up.

I’m not sure which dream came first, but I do remember waking up to the sound of a fucking jackhammer breaking up concrete (there’s construction on a building close by).

What to make of this, I do not know. I feel like going home and doing a bunch of pushups and cleaning up my poker mess though.

Writer’s Apathy

•09/04/2014 • 4 Comments

So instead of writer’s block I think I’ve had writer’s apathy.  I could say that I’ve been spending that time more effectively, but I probably just converted it to reading more of RvF more than anything else.  While I definitely have gained insight and there has been some positive net effect of reading the forum, I can’t say my self improvement has benefited dramatically.  I got a couple comments from Riv and Waldershmidt, they were wondering where I’d gone as far as WP.  Here’s an update on my summer:

Cons:
* Re-injured myself but not as bad. Gotta figure out a way to pay for surgery and recovery. Had to deal with a couple weeks of not being able to do that much. Now I can’t do hard sports but I can go to the gym.
* Have not been hitting the gym or eating that well.
* Have gained significant weight (10-15 lbs) and not any of it muscle. This is a major problem.
* Lost my roommate (best roommate I’ve had so far).
* Haven’t changed my main job, staffing has been a problem so I’ve been working even harder.
* Had some major drama with a neighbor over a business deal gone sour. Not really a lot my fault, but I had to deal with a lot of bullshit for an ever increasingly small piece of the profit. Painful lesson learned.
* Lost use of the really nice massage table I had, stopped giving massages for side money to friends (more of a loss in my forearm strength than dollars, but it also helps clear my head to massage).

Pros:
* Picked up another company to work side gigs for. Not a huge amount of income, but useful income.
* Clients have been good at my main job so I’ve been working a lot but at least making more.
* Good client at my work and my family members helped me out logistically so I could have the opportunity to make a family reunion, wedding, and multiple other events that looked near impossible otherwise.
* While traveling I managed to rent out my 2nd bedroom with the help of my friend who owns a business nearby which made it possible for me to live without a roommate for the rest of the summer by paying for the 2nd room and then some. I also negotiated for free entry and possible VIP meet and greet with a huge artist for me +3.
* While traveling I also managed to network/connect a brand owner and the same business owner friend for a very financially beneficial solution for both of them.
* I spent a lot of time with my dad.
* I’ve been getting back into spearfishing/freediving as a low impact sport that also gets me in shape and feeds me.
* I majorly upgraded my patio/BBQ area so I can hang and look out at the ocean and host more friends in a nicer spot.
* I’ve hosted some awesome birthday and holiday parties as well as some good BBQs and other get togethers.
* Girl I’m in a relationship with continues to do and be all the things that I got into a relationship with her for in the first place. This has been really great.

 

At the moment I’m torn between getting a new long-term roommate and continuing to try to hustle the 2nd bedroom for shorter term stays that makes it pay for itself.  I’m worried that as the busy season slows (it already has) I may not be able to cover the expense of the 2nd bedroom without a long-term roommate.

 

My biggest issues remain my lack of organization/financial planning, fitness, and lack of better employment.  The surgery I need is definitely significant, but I don’t have to correct that immediately and I would rather change my employment before doing that.  I’ll be posting here more regularly to chronicle my improvement in those areas as I think it’s a good spot to do it.  I kind of stopped posting because I was dating one girl and things have been great, so I felt that there was nothing really to write about, but I created this for self-improvement in multiple areas, that one just happened to be the topic I initially focused on.

 

Thanks for reminding me about this part of the community.  I am also sad to say I didn’t make the meetup that dannyfrom504 had.  I hope to visit him one day if he’s still contactable, I know his plan was to leave his site up (thank you Danny!) to have the advice/knowledge be accessible and I hope he continues with that as well as his plan to kind of go off the reservation and live a life more suited to his current desires.  Actually, I just stopped writing this to go look to see if his site was still up.  I see that it is and there were a couple posts I hadn’t read.  Glad to hear he’ll have a new site.  Anyone know what it is?  Riv?  Yohami?
I just wrote a list of about 20-30 things I should be working on every day until they’re done.  Some small, some not small at all.  It’s a start.

 
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