Kay – All But Over

I’m not going to go in-depth in this post about it, but it looks like whatever I thought was going to happen with Kay is all but over.  I plan to drop off a couple things I have of hers and tell her that I wish her the best, but that I don’t appreciate her wasting my time.

At one point while she was explaining her continued issues I pretty much told her, “It’s not me, it’s you.”

She was a little taken aback but I told her, “isn’t that mostly what you’re telling me?” and she couldn’t really disagree.

It’s too bad, I was really, really attracted to her.

This all came to a point Sunday night.  Sunday night I had some crazy fucked up dreams and I couldn’t get her out of my mind all day Monday.  I had to force myself to be productive at work and continually try to force her out of the forefront of my mind.  What a wreck.

I asked Maria to come over, told her I’d had a shitty night/day but didn’t go into much detail.  She’d actually had a pretty crappy day, she’s stressed out from having to move out of her own place due to her roommate allowing her boyfriend to squat like the fat loser/manipulative shitstain he is.  She brought me the sushi she didn’t finish and some edemame and my roommate made us both some tasty juice with his new juicer that he’s falling all over like a gay man over a rat-dog.

Had a drink with her, watched most of Magic Mike (both of us thought it was so fucking weird we had to keep watching), ate a huge chocolate chip cookie and frosty glass of milk, then retired to my bedroom where I had my way with her and then we passed out.  In the morning my chiropractor buddy worked out my still-recovering  injured wing and I fell asleep on the table during the final icing period.  Made me really groggy this morning, but I’ve been able to mostly push through it.

 

Point is, yesterday I felt like utter fucking hell.  Today I feel worlds better.  Just goes to show you that there wasn’t really that much of a big deal to be upset about.  Just a girl.  Too bad for her, I would’ve actually considered exclusivity had things gone right.

15 Days of Pain

Reblogged from rivsdiary:

so several things happened pretty much all at once the past few weeks to make me really angry, bitter, even hateful.

1. realized that i wasted a lot of money, and am down thousands of dollars from where i should be. a fool and his money shall soon be parted. i am that fool. a stupid fool.

2. lost amsterdam girl, who although was not a stunner, was the highest quality girl i have gotten in three years.

Read more… 607 more words

I'm very frustrated right now. Spent all night last night and most of today thinking almost exclusively about Kay. She basically is too stressed/busy to give dating me a real chance, because she doesn't want to do anything other than a relationship. She's pissed me the fuck off at this point. I can "tell" that we'd work good together, but she won't let it. I mean, I bear some responsibility too, absolutely, but this is all on her right now. I kind of told her "It's not me, it's you" and she was kind of taken aback. I told her it's true. You're not letting anything real happen despite being really attracted to me. Too bad. Too bad for her, but right now it just bugs the shit out of me. I need to take action. Action always feels better than wallowing. I'm so frustrated with so many things right now, but that means action will get me far from where I am. I just have to take action. So does Riv.

Yoga Chick

So Yoga Chick hit me up yesterday asking me if I could crash on her couch (I said I already had a volleyball friend crashing on the couch), then if I wanted to hot tub, then if there was any good Karaoke spot around my area, then invited me to Karaoke.  I countered saying I was real tired, massage trade would be much better.  She responded:

<Yoga Chick> If I don’t go [karaoke] I will definitely hook you up…  No trades needed you deserve one.

[4 hours pass while I'm at work]

<Yoga Chick> Hot tub?

<AO> Sounds nice but I’m driving home then hitting the gym with Ben

<Yoga Chick> Come after we aren’t going out [to karaoke]

<AO> [can't]

<Yoga Chick> Well if you want a massage when would it be?

<AO> Not until after 11 so don’t worry about it.  Don’t think I’ll have much time tonight

<Yoga Chick> Ok zzzzz let me know if you change your mind!

9PM <Yoga Chick> Wow I’m in bed….so….tires.  Staying at [her friend's place near me]

When I get back from the gym shortly after I call her and she says she’ll come over.  She proceeds to give me a nice long massage with lotion and we get under the covers and I massage her just a little bit on the shoulders while laying down and while we chat.  Then I go to bed.  She kisses my neck and shit like that and I tell her “hey!” and shut her down.  My body says yes, fuck the shit out of this girl, but my mind says no, don’t get any more involved in her crazy.

In the morning I rush her ass out the door tell her to get in the car, we hustle over to the breakfast sandwich shop a few blocks away and pick up some coffee/sandwiches.  I told her I had to bolt from there but she didn’t understand she’d have to walk from there.  Oh well!

Later we’re texting and I find out she’s Christian, told her I wouldn’t have called that.  She responded:

<Yoga Chick> Why?

<Yoga Chick> Cause of my dirty mouth?

<Yoga Chick> I trust you, more than myself and that’s why I sleep in your bed… Otherwise I wouldn’t put myself in that position.

<Yoga Chick> It’s the drinking… Lol!

<Yoga Chick> I’m kidding…. it doesn’t matter….Lol! I just wanted to fuxx with u!

<AO> Thank you that’s quite a compliment

<AO> [quote her statement about trust] Do you not trust yourself that much?

<Yoga Chick> Not with people I’m attracted to.

<Yoga Chick> I’m very physical… But I knew you’d be the stronger one. Lol!

<Yoga Chick> Is that bad…. ?

<Yoga Chick> I don’t like… :/

 

This is really weird having a cuddle bitch.  The crazy is real strong with this one.  Real strong.  I really shouldn’t play with her hamster so.

She’s seen me with Maria and I’ve told her I’m hanging out with Maria when she asks me what I’m up to.

Cinderella

I text the nineteen year old sporadically, thinking that I should be able to keep her on the hook until I can see her again.  This afternoon I text her and say:

<AO> Will you join me later tonight for a movie and some wine?  Maybe hot tub

<19 YO> I thought you were going to the housewarming [older lady that helped me out in my photo class and who I became friends with has a housewarming tonight after moving]

<AO> Yeah for maybe an hour or so

<AO> Unless you’re too busy having signs run into you [fucking with her about her driving skills]

<19 YO> Hahahahahaha what time tonight? :p

<AO> 10 my place

<19 YO> Oh. Hm. Maybe.

<AO> That too late

<19 YO> Pretty much hahahaha

<19 YO> Cinderellas spell ends at midnight. If I hangout with you tonight it’d only be for like an hour cause I have to drive down there and come back.  /:

 

Still, she seems like she’s open to it.  I texted her telling her we’ll do it earlier and she can come to the housewarming earlier if she has any interest or can meet me 9 or earlier.

I hope to fill those 2 hours with all banging.  If not, I’ll invite Ayla for a drink, if not, I’ll hit up Maria, if not, I’ll pass out early and be productive tomorrow before the bachelor party I have.

So interesting.  I’d never thought before about the girl I’m dating being young enough that she has to be home at midnight.

HAHA

I am scared of wasting my money

Reblogged from rivsdiary:

i am scared of wasting my money
so i don't handle my money
i don't manage it actively, i don't love it, take care of it
and since i don't love it and respect it and take care of it
i waste it
and the more i waste it
the more scared i am of wasting it
i am in a downward spiral now…

Read more… 271 more words

Brave man to be so harsh on himself (calling himself a boy with the way he manages his money which is real harsh...but kind of true...financial acumen and responsibility is definitely a true masculine/alpha trait). My other comments on his actual post if you're interested.

Maria Fun

So last night I had Maria over.  I texted her from the gym pretty late and asked her if she wanted to hang out:

<AO> Hang in an hour?

<Maria> Hey, yeah.

<AO> Cool.  Hit you up when I leave the gym

<Maria> Sounds good

<AO> Leaving gym.  Am going to shower then clean up dishes.  Come by whenever you want

<Maria> Cool.  I’ll probably be over in about 30.

<AO> Hungry?

<Maria> For something sweet haha

<AO> I better shower then!

<Maria> Lol

<Maria> Brown Sugar?  [I'm tan duh I live by the beach]

<Maria> Heading over

[At this point I hadn't showered yet, was JUST barely getting to my dinner]

<AO> I”m stinky! :)

<Maria> Yay!

 

She showed up and I gave her a big stinky hug.  Then I brought her over to where I was eating finished eating my dinner while chatting with her, feeding her, and making her a cocktail.  Then we watched Game of Thrones (she fell asleep, I finished it) and I woke her up to get in bed.  I was exhausted, but I starting kissing her, touching her, then playing with her clit.  Kept all her clothes on except for her pants and made her come really hard. When she’d recovered I kissed her some more and she went down on me for a bit, then I told her she needed to take off all her clothes for me and give me her pussy while she sucked me off.  Then we passed out after I finished and she swallowed every drop.

Today I was thinking about how tired I was and that I just made her get on top of me while I laid there and that when playing with her I was just laying down next to her (my shoulder/neck are kind of fucked up at the moment) so it was all kind of passive.  I decided to send her an aggressive text this evening, just to keep her on her toes:

<AO> I didn’t have any energy last time….but next time I’m going to push you down on to the bed and hold you down while undressing you with my eyes, then tease you and kiss you deep, then suddenly turn you over stomach down on the bed, rip off all your clothes, and…

<Maria> Push hard deep inside?

<Maria> I meant to tell you your stubble felt really good last night.  I almost lost it for a second time.

Yoga Chick

This is the story of a week of Yoga Chick (in progress):

So I met this Korean Chick through the volleyball community who does Yoga and who the heck knows what else.  It sounded like she was a ninja and did everything as a child.  Definitely bright, 4-5 years older than me, but in really good shape, good smile, cute, very fun/high energy.

Like this except a better face, but older too and more tan:

Trouble is, she’s asian and while attractive, just doesn’t really do it for me.  I mean, sure, I could fuck her, but if I’m not really that into a girl and she’s associated with the vball community, I’d rather steer clear of physicality.  The sand talks as they say.  Seemed like a cool girl, though, and she got my contact info and inserted herself into my life a bit.  She’s stayed with my female friend who lives not far off so she could play games down on the beach without having to drive far inland to her place, so she would sometimes ask if I wanted to hot tub or just get together and hang out when she was bored over there (not a lot to do at our mutual friend’s place).

A few nights ago Yoga Chick texts me:

<Yoga Chick> Oh my god! I can’t move!!!!! [she'd played 4-5 days of volleyball in a row]

<Yoga Chick> I was going to go get a REAL massage but I was hoping you would give me one instead… Puleeeeeeezzzz!!!!! I will cook you both [my roommate and I] dinner!!!!

<AO> Woah! I’m sorry to hear that.  I’d be happy to help you out tonight but I’m at work until at least X time, and I can only reall use my right.  Freaking left shoulder is killing me

<YC> Oh Snap!  We can exchange massage!!!

<AO> I’d rather have you make dinner!  Hahaha

<YC> Dinner it is!

<YC> Hmm…..

<YC> What do you like?

<AO> Healthy.  Veggies, lean meats

<AO> Dunno.  I need to get some steaks

<AO> You make a suggestion

<YC> Steaks… :( sad about the other ones? [backstory is that I'd bought a ton of steaks and then accidentally missed putting them when putting stuff away in the refrigerator]

<YC> I hate decided…. I just make!

<YC> Deciding

<AO> Loll.  I’ll grab steaks on the way home.  I’ll hit you up later.  I have asparagus and I think sweet potatoes and salad.

<YC> Saaaaawwwwwwwweet!  I will make a salad.

<YC> Before I come we can cook the rest together!

<AO> You know what’s really good in salads? Bosc pear.  That hard brown pear. Sweet and crunchy.

<YC> That’s exactly what I was going to use!

<YC> That was trippy!

<AO> Heh

Then some other bullshit ensues talking about cheese and timing of dinner.  I eventually arrive home where my roommate has let her in and she’s already started getting stuff prepped.  I swing right into the kitchen and start pulling out steaks and ask her if she’s planning on grilling the steaks or not.  She says yes so I show her where the spices/seasonings are and go outside to fire up the BBQ.  When the steaks were ready I fired ‘em up to the perfect spot between medium rare and medium (roommate and her like medium, real men like me prefer it medium rare or rare).  Her salad was pretty decent (I do better, but definitely respectable) and the steak she seasoned well and I cooked and sliced beautifully.

The plan afterwards was to do the massage and hit the hot tub.

Since she’d fed my roommate and I as well as rubbed my shoulder/neck pretty good, I figured I’d give her a real massage.  Since I don’t have my friend’s massage table at the moment, I directed her into my bedroom and had her lay front-side down on the bed with her shirt off and just sports bra/shorts while I lit a row of five candles in front of the mirror on my low wood dresser.  Then I killed the remaining light and opened up one of the bottles of scented massage lotion I keep on my dresser.  Eucalyptus Spearmint, she asked what it was and squealed in delight when I told her as apparently it’s one of her favorite scents.

I’m not trained in massage, but I know my way around.  I started with her shoulder that was in pain and rubbed it down until I found all of her knots and problem areas and worked them out accordingly.   I then did the same for the left side, then to the neck and then back to the right side.  Then I moved down her spine to her lower back which is also kind of fucked up and worked that out quite a bit.  By the time I was done with this she was bye bye drifting in and out of consciousness.

I woke her up a bit massaging her upper, middle, and lower ass as well as her hips and around the sides of her legs.  She was definitely feeling it.  Wondering how I knew all those spots then visibly vibrating from all the tension in her muscles I’d released.  I then went back to the neck for just a little bit and since she carries some tension in her jaw I massaged her jaw muscles and covered her ears with my hands and digging in a bit under her ears (which is a spot I enjoy myself).  Then I went back to the butt/hips and continued down her legs to her calves.  By this point I’d taken my shirt off and opened the window as it was getting real warm and I had started to sweat.  One last thing (and a technique I like to end on) was to give her the loose finger chop all over her body in the areas I’d massaged, then a short caress of her upper back and shoulders before coming down off the bed.

My roommate still wanted to hit the hot tub and I couldn’t bear to wake Yoga Chick so I blew out the candles and left her in my bed while the roommate and I hit the hot tub and the heated pool for about an hour.  When I returned, I woke her up and ordered her to roll over so I could get her and I under the sheets and then I went to bed with her cuddled up to me all night.

The next morning after I took off for work I got:

<Yoga Chick> My shoulder and whole body feels amazing!

The next day or two she came to the gym with my roommate and I.  A couple nights later she wants to massage trade.  Last night actually.  I told her I had a date and that I’d be home after that, possibly late.  You can read about my date with Kay here.  I told her if she was around then we could do a quick massage trade.

I texted her at almost midnight:

<AO> Still up?

<Yoga Chick> In the hot tub with [my roommate]…

<AO> Just starting or finishing?

<Yoga Chick> 15 mins tops…

<Yoga Chick> Should I come over?

<Yoga Chick> I’m bored! Everyone here is sleeping!

<AO> I got five on it

<Yoga Chick> Lol!

Then I showed up less than five minutes after my text and since I have a key walked right in the gate and then the hot tub/pool area.

What happened next?  I hung with her and my roommate in the hot tub for at least another half hour, chatting and hanging.  She was pretty drunk off of our mutual friend’s stash of free 1.5oz liquor bottles, so I shared the one she had just opened with her.  She came back with us afterwards, my roommate passed out, then she gave me a shoulder/neck rub while I showed her some badass photos I took of the best sunset so far this year.

Then I laid her down on the couch and kneeled on one side and stood on the ground with the other leg, straddling her.  Gave her a good shoulder/upper arm rub down and then worked on her whole back some, finishing with some ass/hip action.  She was super sore from doing squats so I had to make her endure the pain to get some release there.  Then I told her she could sleep on the couch or in my bed but that I was going to sleep immediately, fucking exhausted.

She joined me in my bed, but since she was so drunk she kept presenting to me and rubbing trying to rub her hands on my dick, run her leg over my crotch, etc…  I kept cockblocking her because like I said she’s not my type.  Still, as a man, this is pretty damn tough.  I fended her off here and there during the night when she’d wake up and again om the early morning.  Once she really woke up and was less drunk in the late morning I told her about her antics.  She said she didn’t even remember my massage on the couch.  Then later this morning she sent me:

<Yoga Chick> Sorry I was such a whore last night! Lol! Thank you! And I do remember your one leg mounted bootay rub!

<AO> Hah it was mostly a shoulder and arm massage.  Nice try!

<Yoga Chick> I guess there was a lot of trying I don’t remember…

<Yoga Chick> Lol!

<AO> Yeah, you were very persistent

<Yoga Chick> Oh snap! What can I say you must have been irresistable :)

<AO> Nah, I was just placeholder man :P [earlier I'd told her that she needed to get laid when we were laying in bed before i took off for work]

<Yoga Chick> Oh wow….that’s a little extreme

<Yoga Chick> I will keep my hands to myself tonight! [I told her that tonight for my client's friend's party (where they're getting a limo(s) and bottle service) she could be one of my hos]

<Yoga Chick> Lol!

<AO> Dork

I am NOT trying to bang this chick.  Most guys would.  I stick to my guns, I don’t think it’ll be worth it and she’ll be more valuable as an orbiter of mine.  This makes her want to bang me even more.  Even if she won’t admit it today (she’ll blame her definite drunkenness), her actions while drunk prove otherwise.

That ended up being a lot longer than I meant it to be.  This chick has a dancer/yoga/fitness body that a lot of guys would eat right the fuck up.  When we were at the gym she was doing some CRAZY fucking yoga poses that looked almost like breakdancing moves.  Shit was unreal.  Yet she wants my out of shape ass.  It’s funny to me.