•02/24/2014 • 1 Comment
Girl suggests an “open” relationship for her 3 month vacation../
…then loses her shit when her BF fucks another girl. Fucking classic. I was laughing my ass off at her reaction and then all the redditors telling her she’s an idiot and complaining that they’re ganging up on her.
In other news, Salty Spice has continued to be feminine and taking my direction and taking care of me. I threw a big costumed/themed party for her and my roommate’s birthdays which was a smashing fucking success. Got my friend laid with a hot chick at my party, got the cops called on me for the first time in the many years I’ve lived in the same spot, just had a riot of a fucking time. She was super happy and thankful. Gotta have her back over to clean my place up and give me a BJ. There’s alcohol and party remnants everywhere.
Oh, what did I give her for my bday? I went to an arts/crafts store, got her a totally dorky looking pendant related to an inside joke of ours and picked out a little chain to hang it on. Then I bought her some cool orchids at the grocery store and gave her a card with a bunch of random shit written inside and a fucking five year old’s pick up line instead of the writing that was pre-printed inside, and I drew her a piss poor version of the pendant inside the card free-hand. Grand total spent was like $20 bucks and I borrowed my friend’s multi-color markers for the card.
She wore her necklace all the next day and was so damn happy.
I’m rather enjoying her.
•02/11/2014 • Leave a Comment
I have a pillow that I pretend is my girlfriend…
Sorry guys, have to out myself. This is me. This is why I need Feminism.
•02/07/2014 • Leave a Comment
There’s a great thread over on RooshVForum where guys post there funny/entertaining text message exchanges with girls. My latest contribution:
Last night the current girl I’m dating came over and after dinner with my friends we went home early for some very inspired sex where I finished all over her back and accidentally shot myself in the arm (I was holding her down by her upper back as I unloaded on her). The cum dripped down my arm and onto her back in little drips that she said were tickling her. Fun was had by all. She started touching me again as we were falling asleep for round 2. Then round 3 initiated by me this morning making us both late to work.
<AO> I must say we sure started the day out right
<Girl> Yes we did :) I was going to tell you that my legs are really sore haha
<AO> I like you with sore legs/walking funny…
<Girl> I’m like a baby deer over here hahaha…. Ok maybe not that bad
I was holding her legs up so she was bent in half laying on her back One of my favorite positions (and hers) but I guess we did it a little too long….or just long enough.
•02/07/2014 • 4 Comments
In between making Salty Spice writhe underneath me last night I was chatting with her in bed. She’s going to Vegas this weekend for a friend’s birthday and will be with a mixed group. Found out that the guys are pretty innocuous and the impression I have of her is pretty good. So in talking to her I related how the last time I was at the strip clubs in Vegas I was giving massages to the dancers. I told them they could either trade me a massage, a drink, or a lap dance. A little over half opted for the lap dance, I got one drink bought for me, and the others all went for the shoulder massage back. I had dancers coming up to me as I was massaging another dancer, or with a dancer on my lap, or just while taking a break and they’d say, “So I hear you’re a masseuse!” or, “Oooh, can I be next?”
I’ll readily admit that I don’t have much biceps (do plan to change that), but my forearms and hands are definitely strong, almost exclusively from massage (it’s not like this keyboard helps with any muscle growth). So before relating this story and another strip-club related one, I found out that she’d never been to a strip club. That on a previous trip to Vegas the guys in her group (I think a different group) wanted to go to one, but the girls in her group all were wussing out so they didn’t go. I told her that settles it, I’m going to introduce her to her first strip club experience.
The funny thing is that I really haven’t been to strip clubs THAT many times, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that dancers treat girls COMPLETELY differently than they treat guys. I’ll be in an even better position being that she came with me, and I don’t really like lap dances that much anyway, so being able to watch a girl dance/be sensual on the girl I’m bringing, major bonus. So now I’m going to take her on a strip club date. She’s excited about Vegas but bummed that she won’t see me for a few days. She won’t be going to a strip club because she’s really excited to go with me for the first time, and she’s going to be giving me a lap dance after. This is my life.
•02/07/2014 • Leave a Comment
Rupert Murdoch, one of the richest and most powerful men on the planet, allegedly physically and mentally abused by his wife who made it clear she lusted after another man. She’ll go on to be one of the richest women in history and no charges will be pressed and she’ll continue to do what for a man would be a death sentence in the public eye and near certain jail time.
I’d say he got feministed.
•02/05/2014 • Leave a Comment
A text exchange between Salty Spice and I. Normally I’d be a little concerned a girl I’m dating is going to vegas for a friend’s bday, especially when there’s a group going and there are guys involved, and I was initially, but now I’m not. A text exchange from yesterday:
<SS> Thinking of buying for Vegas
[she sends a picture of her in a sexy short black dress]
<SS> Okay I actually bought it haha
<AO> YOu know though, I want to see it in person now
<SS> That’s fine I can bring it over for approval
<AO> So would you like to model your dress for me tomorrow night?
<SS> Yes I would :)
She has expressed being very bummed that she won’t be able to see me this weekend (as she’ll be in Vegas). Last night I took her over to my buddy’s movie night and she curled up on me the whole time. It’s funny body language, my friend and I both sitting stoic on the couch with each of our girls wrapped around us.
Valentine’s Day coming up, wonder what I’m going to do. Danny had some good ideas, but I’ve only been dating her less than 2 months. Hmm…