Working out is such a great physical reminder

•10/23/2014 • Leave a Comment

The constant ache of my belly after the gym two nights ago reminds me that I’ve missed the gym for too long.  It also reminds me that I need to feed myself healthily so that my body can recover faster and become stronger.

It reminds me that I have things to do outside of work and pleasure.  Self-improvement in other areas.  It reminds me of hunger in a way.  I must satisfy my hungers instead of constantly starving or just barely maintained.

I didn’t get much sleep last night after working the main job and a side gig.  Today I must do better, the gym, the food, the organization, the financial planning.

I almost bought breakfast this morning reasoning that I had the money in my pocket and could buy something nutritious and fast (and because I’d be later than I should be), but instead turned at the last moment and walked back to my house, threw some things together and got on the road.

On a side note, I went by my girl’s place and she has pretty much made my costume from scratch.  I’ve only gone to the store to pick out materials.  It ended up being a couple’s costume in a way.  She a sex symbol character, me her alpha male sex symbol.  She continues to prove her worth in my life.  Just realized we’re very close to a year since we started dating.

On Yesterday

•10/21/2014 • Leave a Comment

From yesterday:

1. Make a healthy salad/dinner.

FAILED – Ate toasted bread with almond butter and eventually a candy and then more toasted bread with almond butter and a glass of milk.

2. Get my phone fixed (it’s full making it work like shit) and see if I can get my new (to me) desktop computer booting.

Phone – FAILED, Desktop – Actually, I can say I’m proud that I got this up and running and it seems stable and fast enough.  Want to put an SSD in this for the boot drive, going to see if I can get one cheap/free.  I was thinking of re-imaging this system, but I got a hold of the user password and found that it has a full, fairly current Adobe and MS Office Suite, so I think I’ll save myself the time/effort.

3. Do 3 sets of 15 pushups and 100 situps at home.

FAILED – Did nothing.

4. Get stuff packed in containers to bring in lunch food to work.

FAILED – Did nothing

5. Shower and sleep before midnight.

FAILED – Did not shower, fell asleep on the couch watching poker on TV probably 1 AM or later, woke up at dawn and went to my bedroom for another couple hours of sleep.  Felt pretty tired all day and sucked at work.  When watching poker it drew me in like a moth to a flame.  I really, really like that game.  I wonder if I can work it into my schedule so I can play it at the card clubs in order to try to make some money.  My home poker game is coming up, I hope to kill it.

Feeling a little bummed about the failures, but I’m going to take this same list and see about knocking it all out tonight.  If I do 1-4 I’ll go grab a beer container refill at my local brewery.

Quick Update

•10/20/2014 • Leave a Comment

Haven’t really been exercising much, but my diet has improved significantly.  Unfortunately I drank a decent amount this weekend and feel pretty shitty today even though I wanted to hit the gym.  Tonight I’m going to:

1. Make a healthy salad/dinner.

2. Get my phone fixed (it’s full making it work like shit) and see if I can get my new (to me) desktop computer booting.

3. Do 3 sets of 15 pushups and 100 situps at home.

4. Get stuff packed in containers to bring in lunch food to work.

5. Shower and sleep before midnight.

I wrote a list of reasons I shouldn’t be working at my current job.  It spanned nearly 2 pages.  I felt shitty from not sleeping nearly the entire night (was kind of food-sick or something) but writing that list helped.  This week I need to pick a night and hammer out my resume/update my linked in.

On a semi-related note, despite my finances being in a pretty shitty state overall, if I calculate based only on my rent/utilities expenses, I’ve got just over 6 months worth saved up.

Not quite a fuck you fund, but that gives me a little peace of mind that I could probably go a full quarter if I needed to with just cash on hand.  It’s starting to become a high enough number that I wonder what the best way to keep cash would be that I can still access it in a pinch, but that isn’t just a stack of cash that someone could grab and run off with if they found it.

Checking In

•10/15/2014 • 2 Comments

So as per yesterday’s post:

1. Loaded up on healthy food.  Bought a household item I’ve been needing to assist in keeping things clean.

2. Weighed in just shy of 202 lbs.  I was afraid I was over 200.  Hit the stationary bike next to a guy that bartends in my favorite spot so I could talk to him and maintain the locked-down status.  Turns out he has a similar injury to me so we talked quite a bit on it.  15 minutes of significant intensity and I decided to stick with my desire to hit the rowing machine.  Set it to 7/10 intensity.  Default when turning it on was 2,000 meter, so I bumped that to 5,000 which might be too damn much.

Maintained just barely above a 2:00 per 500 m rate, roughly 30 RPM, then about halfway through had to bump the intensity down to 6/10, but maintained my RPM, slowly dropping to just below a 2:30 per 500 meter rate.  I was fucking pumping the whole time.  Almost stopped a number of times as I was breathing fucking hard.  Was trying to maintain one breath in on the return and one breath out on the stroke.  My lungs were on fire.  Felt good.  Walked home and was immediately feeling sore.  Total time for the 5k meter was roughly 23 minutes.

Intensity was good, at some points I didn’t think I was going to make 5,000 meters without dropping way off my rowing pace and distance covered per time.  I made it though.

3.Healthy dinner yes, snacked a little late night, but not too much.  Was in bed for 8 hours sleep, probably got 7-7.5 after looking at my phone for far too long.


Headed out from work way late, pissed off about it because it’s not my doing outside of my choice to still be working here.  Fucking annoyed.  Was supposed to hang out with the girl but instead I’m at work fixing people’s fuckups.  Debating just having her stay home instead of coming over.

Things I’m unhappy with

•10/14/2014 • 2 Comments

Health – Need a procedure that is costly and will have some significant downtime in order to be able to really be an athlete again.  I need to sort out how to afford it or how to get good enough insurance to cover it.  I’ve been getting progressively fatter.  I can tell.  I may not be crazy heavier, but my muscle mass is not there and my fat mass really has grown.  My diet has been way too much unhealthy and fast food/restaurant food.  This is disconcerting especially when having a pretty thing/in shape girl.  No need to give her reason to lose interest physically.

Finances/Employment – I basically haven’t built any side work into successful business in much of any sense of the word.  I take that back.  I did take some initiative and sublet my extra bedroom instead of finding a long-term roommate, but now I have a short term roommate in there without any huge benefit to me but stability and some time savings.  I haven’t made any significant progress on becoming self employed and worse, haven’t made any movement on becoming better employed.

Organization/Drive – This is an overall topic that I need to improve on in order to improve many aspects of my life.

I’m not sure which of these is more crucial, but I think they are both huge glaring issues I need to address if I want to become happier.

Last night I slept horribly.  As a sign of growing unhappiness I find myself going to sleep later and later (and for no good reason…I wouldn’t mind going to bed late if anything at home were better organized/addressed) and then getting up later and later.

The only slight positive in both of the above topics is that overall my health isn’t really horrible and financially, I have managed to stack between 3-4 months of basic living expenses if I were to lose my job.  Not super comforting, but it has been nice to watch that stack grow bit by bit.

So, now that I’ve laid out what I’m unhappy with (major items), the next step is to sort out what and how I’m going to implement actionable solutions.

I don’t have any specific long term plans, but there’s no better time than the present.  If it’s a priority it’s what you’re working on NOW.  Tonight I’ll do three things:

1. Grocery store to load up on healthy food on the way home.

2. Gym for weigh-in and minimum an hour of cardio/light weights.

3. Healthy dinner, plan/prepare lunch and snacks for tomorrow, in bed for minimum 8 hours sleep before work.

Checking in on myself tomorrow.

You are in charge, even if she’s on top

•10/09/2014 • 1 Comment


My comment in response to the question at the end of Riv’s post.  Quoted below, you can see his full post here.


anyway, point is, AO this part is very hot:

I had my girl ride me last night, yet I had a fistful of her hair and was talking to her right in her ear in between deep kisses, smacks on the ass, running my other hand all over her body. She came hard, following up with doing everything in her power to get me to come, incredibly turned on.

final comment:

talking to her right in her ear

what did you say?


My response:
I just realized you asked me what I said to her right in her ear. I don’t recall at this point, wish I did. I’d say it was something like:

AO: “Whose pussy is that?”
her: *almost inaudible, in between short but heavy breathing* “yours”
AO: “What?” *squeezing fist that has her hair intertwined in the fingers*
her: *louder this time* “yours, sir”

*few moments pass where I alternate between smacking her ass with my other hand and running it over her ass, her lower back, her thighs, her tits*

AO: “You liked sucking my dick earlier didn’t you”
her: *nods head, continues grinding on my dick*
AO: “You know when you suck it good like that it almost feels like your pussy right now”
her: *pussy gets even wetter/tighter, she starts grinding even harder/slower*
AO: “Oh you want to come for me now?”
her: “yes sir”
AO: “dirty girl. You know the next time I see you I’m not going to say a word, I’m just going to give you a know…that look. I’ll grab the back of your hair just like this and bend you over and smack your ass until you moan….then I’m going to pull down your pants and shove my dick inside you and fuck you roughly…”
her: “Oh my god…”
AO: “Oh yeah?”
her: *nodding head and biting her lip*
AO: “Ask me for permission to come”
her: *nearly breathless…she can barely get it out, her breasts heaving* “please sir, can I come?”
AO: “Yes…come for me…I’m going to fuck you until you come…and then keep fucking you and fucking you and fucking you…”

She’s pushed over the edge…right after she finished coming/convulsing I give her a “good girl” and “that’s my baby girl” and give her a minute to rest/recover before I proceed with the rest.

Catch and Release

•10/07/2014 • Leave a Comment

Hung out with new roommate and his girl. I think she’s attracted to me. Went out with a buddy and his fucking huge brother who I normally try to avoid. The brother was being okay so I kept hanging out with them. Went to a few different spots looking for girls as my buddy is newly single. Found one little smokeshow with her two bangable but not that hot friends. She was being a bitch, the huge brother buys us all shots on my buddy’s tab (so lame), she leaves despite both guys being damn attractive and spitting reasonable game (something was up with her, she was especially cunty).

My buddy and his brother hang out but then end up leaving, the other two girls start talking to me, I’m total cool guy with a cocky/asshole side. The one wants to fuck me bad, is in a 6 year relationship. The other is pretending she doesn’t want me but I outright tell her I know she’s attracted to me and she can’t deny it. She’s a psychologist so I start fucking with their heads hard, pretty entertaining. They parked by my place so I’m walking them back and tell them they gotta come over for a minute. Had no intention of banging them but man the one had such a fucking sexy body I didn’t mind hanging.

Get to the place and roommate is still up with his girl out on the patio, I grab the girls some water before they go and they chat around then I kick ‘em out. No reason to fuck up my girl situation now, but man was that fun/funny. My buddy and his brother went home empty handed and I caught and threw back both of the girls that stayed. My body was hurting pretty bad from drinking all the leftover shots that the girls didn’t take. Oops.


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