Thoughts on Maria inspired by Riv

In response to Riv’s post:

You know, I have similar feelings with Maria (long-time friends with benefits) because I know that she wants me, I know that not many other men will ever stand a chance while I am still seeing her and providing a modicum of comfort and a lot of good sex (when I can see her).  It makes me kind of sad sometimes, but I wonder if the sadness isn’t just because I would rather be regularly fucking someone I’m more intensely attracted to or what.  Sunday night:

I picked her up from our mutual friend’s house the other night, she was passed out on the couch and a guy we all know was passed out next to her with his arms on her legs.  It pissed me off some that she was laying there that way but I really don’t know this guy that well and it easily could’ve been them so damn drunk that they just passed out and he did that half asleep.  Obviously nothing happened anyway as they were both fully clothed and it had been not 15-20 minutes since Maria had called me wondering where I was.

I’d ditched out on meeting up with them by claiming that I had to be the DD for my friend/boss at the work gig that let out late.  I actually was driving for him, but only because he couldn’t park his truck/trailer where the bar was which a couple girls were at which we met up with.  The one girl is my childhood neighbor who was a different grade than me, but we were sort of friends back then.  The other girl is pretty cute with a great rack but a little overweight.  I’d met them once before and the friend had been all interested in why the childhood friend and I don’t hang out (almost like she was pushing me on her).

I spent the night trying to give some red pill advice to the guy that was with them (who was a long-term beta orbiter of my childhood friend) about how he needs to move on and man up and not be a dick, but not be a pushover at all.  I think it all went in one ear and out the other so I moved on to completely having the great rack friend at my beck and call.  She offered to get me a drink and then renegged pretty early on in the conversation, claiming that she hadn’t meant that she would buy me a drink so I punished her by never ordering a drink and making her buy her own that I would take sips out of (heck, I’m driving and it’s late, no need to really drink).

I basically employed ALL the tactics that I’d been describing to the beta orbiter and he just continued to get more and more depressed as I turned her on more and more.  By the end of the night she was telling me how she hadn’t gotten laid in 6 months, how she’s so picky, and that her vibrator’s name is Captain Nemo.  I shit you not.  She complained about my grabbing her hair, but visually loved it, she complained about me being so forward and talking dirty into her ear, but visually loved it.  She shit-tested me plenty but I could see her OBVIOUSLY looking directly at my lips like she was hanging on every word I spoke and every action I’d give her.

Where was I?  Oh yeah, so Maria.  When the childhood friend, the orbiter, and the russian chick (let’s call her Ayla) all were ready to go (at closing time), I apologized to my friend for staying so long (apparently he’d wanted to go and I’d missed it in between my grandiose delusions of owning Ayla), and headed back home to find Maria and bring her home for a proper fucking.

On the way home I picked up some “drunky food” and called our mutual friend Elle who let me know that Maria was going to be on her couch and that she’d leave her door open so I could come get Maria.  Now that’s a good girl friend.  Seriously.  Let us take a moment to reflect on how good of a girl friend Elle is.  She is a female, so plenty of her reactions and decision making is emotionally driven, but she’s definitely a good girl friend.  The front door was locked and neither Elle nor Maria was picking up their phones, so I eventually walked around the back way, opened the gate, and got in through the sliding glass door.  I was presented with Maria passed out on Elle’s couch with the guy friend laying near her with his arm draped over her.  It took some effort to wake her up out of her drunken state and get her standing and following me home.  The guy friend was so drunk that he didn’t even gain full consciousness, just slipped off her and into a pile on the couch.

I was pissed off this night as I’d tried to hang out with Kay earlier in the day, but she’d done this lame breakfast thing with me where she didn’t even get dressed up much, admitted she hadn’t taken a shower that morning (night before thought), and then she wanted to go get a pedicure.  I was like, “huh?” in my head and was kind of pissed off so I just told her I wasn’t into that and left.  Of course, I had drained my balls with Maria the night before, so I wasn’t “that” pissed off.  Also, since I’d humped Maria the night before (and again in the morning) I wasn’t exactly into going back to hang out with Maria after my work gig.  The russian ayla was sounding much better (or the childhood friend, why not?).  So after making out with Ayla and working her up, then picking up Maria, I was very much in a hate-fucking mood.

Maria was ecstatic for the drunky food once she fully woke up.  Then I went to town on her so long I thought my roommate was going to wake up from all her moaning.  In the early morning we woke up and I went to town on her again, then in the late morning I had to go get ready to hang out with my family, but I got some dynamite again and went down on her until she came really hard, then fucked her while she was still convulsing from that until we both came together and my dick felt like it couldn’t take any more sex, not even from a Victoria’s Secret Model Orgy.

Then I took pictures of her getting dressed which I later thought about sending to Riv (because while not as pretty in the face, she has proportions that I think Riv would appreciate), but then deleted because I felt a little bad about using her this way.

Long story short, I guess I’ve landed upon the crux of it, in that I feel bad sometimes when hooking up with Maria, that I’m keeping her from being truly happy, from finding the man of her dreams who will do everything to make her happy as opposed to using her for my needs (although not only that).  But then I realize that she’s no prisoner, I am honest with her, I don’t manipulate her, I just give her the absolute best sex she’s ever had, I understand her, I comfort her, I make her come whenever “I” want (which is often), and I let her go if she decides to leave (which she has once before and I know she will again at some point).  I’ve never hit her except in a way that we both enjoy and which makes her come hard, I care for her and her feelings (up to a point), and I have no qualms hanging out with her and not having sex.  That doesn’t happen “that” often, but I do spend time with her where nothing happens from time to time.  It doesn’t bother me and what else would friends with benefits mean if not some friendship?

Riv, I don’t think that you need to get used to “using” people, but you should definitely get used to having the upper hand in the value equation.  The higher you value yourself (and build yourself up to be), the higher value you can expect and achieve out of any situation or relationship.  Life is not for the weak (you say faint of heart), this is why in nature, the weak are killed and the strong replicate.

The only comfort you should need is that you’re giving her value.  You give her many things that she won’t find elsewhere.  You’re not using her, you’re taking what she’ll give and giving her something in return.  If she’s not getting the best of the situation, that’s up to her to change, not you.  If you don’t feel right about something, give her more, or let her go.  Only you can make that decision.

Just like sometimes you don’t see very clearly your situation with your ex (and missing her and thinking of the guys she’s dating that are not you), just the same you don’t see as clearly your situation with blondie or with your game improvements.

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~ by aneroidocean on 05/28/2013.

14 Responses to “Thoughts on Maria inspired by Riv”

  1. Re-reading this I realized that I had the Ayla girl giving me a massage in the bar as punishment for not having bought me a drink when she said she would (I’d said “give me an amaretto on the rocks” and she claimed to not have heard me…bullshit).

    I also wanted to clarify that I think there’s something to a girl being intensely attracted to you, to where when you give her good foreplay she’s just dripping wet and nearly shaking from the anticipation. If there’s anything that gets me harder than Mt. Everest it’s this. It’s not that I’m unattracted to Maria, but visually she’s not as attractive as most of the other girls I’ve dated, yet I have really, really intense sex with her. Just goes to show what I’ve said all along, that sex is way, way, way better with someone who you have a really good connection with.

  2. “Then I took pictures of her getting dressed which I later thought about sending to Riv (because while not as pretty in the face, she has proportions that I think Riv would appreciate), but then deleted because I felt a little bad about using her this way.”

    damn, that got me excited for a second! i love a girl with nice proportions. to me, that really means nice legs, slender frame, nice waist… ah.

    • Haha, I was wondering if you were going to catch that. Another time perhaps. I’ve hinted about doing photo shoots with both her and a female friend. We’ll see.

      • photo shoots, now we’re talking! i still think that the three skills every man should learn, or at least try to learn, are: salsa dancing, martial arts, and basic photography. i only know the third. but all three are so useful and i think not incredibly hard, and really help increase a man’s value and enjoyment of life.

  3. “you should definitely get used to having the upper hand in the value equation. ”

    “The only comfort you should need is that you’re giving her value. You give her many things that she won’t find elsewhere.”

    well said. very true. good points.

    HOWEVER. i mean shit. maybe i am more comfortable writing this stuff on your blog than on mine, cause i start to feel like a sociopath, but the stuff i make her say, i may, i think it’s pretty fucked up.

    or maybe not.

    i have no idea any more.

    i try to remember how d&p or somebody wrote, don’t pity her, she will be sucking another dick within the month — hmm, yeah maybe.

    but the things i make her say, as i am fucking her brains out, making her come, pulling her hair, spanking her, biting her, etc etc — let’s see. i make her say:

    you own me
    you are my master
    i love you
    i love you and will do anything for you
    i live to give you pleasure
    i was born to give you pleasure
    my purpose in life is to give you pleasure
    my purpose in life is to give you pleasure, even if i have to suffer for it
    i would die for you
    i am your sex slave
    i am your whore
    i am your bitch
    i would rather share you than not have you in my life
    i will never run away from you again, or you might forget about me
    i want to be your bisexual girlfriend
    i live to pleasure you

    and for a while before, i was doing nastier shit. i was slapping her face during sex — pretty hard too — and telling her that i only slapped the girls that turned me on, so it was actually *good* that i was slapping her, and so i would have her say, “please slap me. i want you to slap me. you only slap the girls that really turn you on. please, i want you to slap me” etc.

    i think i wrote about that before. so yeah, that slapping thing was getting really fucked up, like abusive mind control stuff.

    but yeah, i give her the ride of her life. nice hotels, nice restaurants, super intense orgasms, she is crazy about me, she really is.

    alright, anyway, not even sure what the point of this comment is, except to confess my sins. i just need a replacement. a girl that i want to be more loving towards, and less abusive towards.

    • I don’t doubt that you’ve crossed the line prior into areas that are more abusive than just dominating, but you have to realize that part of what you’re giving her is the love she craves. Women don’t crave love that is all sweet and giving and supplicating. They crave dominating overwhelming, passion.

      They will love you every minute for it.

    • I am going to bookmark your blog, RIv. I want to get to that level. More so than I want to bang a lot of girls, I want to be able to dominate completely.

  4. “I got some dynamite again and went down on her until she came really hard, then fucked her while she was still convulsing from that until we both came together and my dick felt like it couldn’t take any more sex”

    hell yeah! well done.

    • It’s weird. Life is about excitement and passion but also balance. I don’t think most guys get to the point where they are all sexed out. I loved the night, but at the same time, I almost went past that point. I was done. I didn’t want any more, but maybe that’s just because I was exhausted at that point.

  5. more things she said this morning:
    -i love you, please don’t ever leave me
    -i love you, please don’t ever get bored of me
    -i will do everything you tell me to do so you don’t leave me
    -i will do everything you tell me to do so you don’t get bored of me
    -i will kiss other girls so you don’t get bored of me
    -i will fuck other girls so you don’t get bored of me
    -i will fuck other girls to give you pleasure
    -i will do whatever i need to do to make sure you are happy
    -i will be a good girl and do everything you tell me to do
    -i will be a good girl and make sure you are happy
    -i will do everything you tell me to do, so you won’t have any reason to leave me

    • Has she ever actually fucked another girl with you? Do you have her tell you these things because it turns you on or because you plan to act on them? Do you think she is open to those things or only saying them to satisfy you?

      I do like your baby girl game concept, I use it with girls. Most times when they come or when they make me come I tell them “good girl” and I always take care of them after I fuck them hard and long. I slap them lightly in the throes of passion and I slap them more like medium when we’re getting real rough.

      • we haven’t had a threesome or anything at all. i don’t think she is really up for it. we’ll see. it does turn me on to hear them, but it would turn me on even more to do them.

  6. Good points. Riv basically took the words from my own mouth ( compliment).

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