The Night I Was A Woman

Ripped straight from my reply in this topic on RooshV:

 

What a fucking weird thread. That said, I did once have my friends looking through my social media (he wanted to see a female friend’s pictures) and he and my other buddy suddenly start laughing and choking like they’d seen the most funny/fucked up thing. They called out to me saying “AO, you’ve gotta see this, we found you as a female!”

I was in the kitchen washing dishes (I’ll do this when hanging out with people and pre-partying….I like coming back home to a sparkling kitchen and I’m drinking….what do I care what I’m doing for 15 minutes) and I told them to fuck off. They kept insisting that I had to look at this chick that she could be my twin sister or something. I was kind of annoyed at this point because I was trying to get some shit done and I didn’t really care about this random chick they found that is friend’s with my friend and I partially think my buddies are just fucking with me and are going to have a picture of a fatty/ugly chick brought up.

I finish the dish I’m on because they won’t let up, they’re practically like monkeys at this point hooting and hollering.

I walk over to my desk and my eyes focus on the picture they’ve got pulled up. I see some random girl, no. I see another girl, no. I see the next girl and what I see is ME staring back at myself…except I’m female and have long hair and tits. My mind came to a sudden halt. WHAT. THE. FUCK.

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It was so disturbing, it actually affected me for about an hour, trying to get the image of me as a chick out of my head. My friend’s had been right. This chick could pass for my female twin. It was so fucked up. I almost began wondering if it could be possible.

Years later I decide last minute to go to a Halloween Party where if you don’t dress up and do a badass costume you will either not be let in or never hear the end of it, so I can’t think of something to do/be that I can do on such a short timeline. My female friend goes, “wait, we have everything you need to go as a chick. Wigs, dress, etc… we’ll take care of everything, you just have to either shave your legs [wasn’t going to happen] or buy pantyhose and some cheap flats”

I consider. I think about it again and again. What else am I going to do that’s effective enough yet cheap (I was broke at the time) and fast?

Fuck it. Never done it before, might as well, it’s halloween and I’m gonna be drinking and NOBODY will see it coming.

Of course the shoe store only had shoes 2 sizes too small that were fuck me pumps (3 inch black heels), but I made it to her place pantyhose and shoes in hand. They had me put on the dress and then proceeded to do my makeup. The two girls cooed about how nice my lashes were and that I was a prettier girl than they were (wasn’t sure how to take that but I said fuck it…already committed). Then the wigs came out. The first one was a stupid color, wasn’t even close to working. Second one, not bad, but didn’t look right. Third one I closed my eyes for so I wouldn’t get the hair in my eyes while they were putting it on and smoothing it out.

I opened my eyes. In the mirror, staring back at me, was that chick from the social media pictures. The same damn hair color, the same shape of hair, the…..WHAT THE FUCK!

Two of the weirdest moments in my life. The party was a fucking blast because everyone there was completely surprised and it was a riot. In 3″ heels I was taller than most of the guys and the looks on their faces as they figured out I was not only a guy but also a guy they knew was pretty entertaining. Not something I’d want to do again necessarily, but it worked out pretty well and it’s always good to be able to laugh at yourself and life.

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~ by aneroidocean on 08/01/2013.

3 Responses to “The Night I Was A Woman”

  1. That’s too much for me, but good that you had a good time.

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