About My Father

(I’m going to be a little vague about some specific details below to retain my anonymity)

My dad never knew his dad so while my dad wasn’t perfect, I give him a lot of credit for what he did to raise me (and for sticking around despite him and my mom sometimes not getting along very well). Unfortunately my dad and my mom didn’t give me a lot of help in the social/women arena so I failed pretty hard at that for most of my life including into my early 20s.

My dad was a mixture of alpha/beta. He had a temper and could definitely lose it, but most of the time he was fairly nice and caring. He’s a waterman through and through, both for work and for pleasure. He’s been on the water most of my life so he’d be gone for days on end and at the whim of the weather and mother ocean. Many people can claim they are working at something they love but he truly loves being around the ocean. I got this from him and am now getting more involved in everything the ocean has to offer after kind of moving away from that after I was a kid.

My dad is very accomplished in his hobby related to his job and is well respected both in the US as well as abroad for his skill. Within that small-ish community, people have nothing but great things to say about my dad. When they meet me and they hear my last name they say, “Oh, are you [his] son?!?!” My dad is not a big man by any means, but he is a big man in that way. He was already an accomplished waterman when he met my mother.

My dad met my mother in his home country where she was abroad doing volunteer work after school. They dated and he taught her to be a waterwoman, teaching her a lot of what he knew about the ocean. She became enamored of him despite his small stature (she’s probably 3 inches taller than him and not tall by any means). Eventually her entire family travelled to his country for their wedding and all was well. They decided to move to the US west coast so that he could continue working on the water once his contracts ran out. He continued to work on a very dangerous international waterway after I was born, sending me letters that I couldn’t yet read describing the work and the hazardous conditions.

When I think about it now as an adult I know that my mom was definitely considered exotic and highly sought after in my dad’s home country so in that way, he was decently alpha to land her. However, he did have plenty of beta traits, despite overall running the household. He’s not very successful financially, partly because of his stubbornness and lack of wanting to do anything else than what he loves. I don’t really know much about who he dated before he met my mother, but I do know that he had a woman that he he loved that didn’t work out before her as I was very upset after a bad breakup once and he told me about this woman in his past and to NEVER cry over a woman.

This was a very different side of my dad that I’d never witnessed prior, so knowing that and realizing as I swallowed the red pill how many women absolutely adore/love my dad now, I know that even if he wasn’t fully red pill in his youth I think he definitely had some skill with women or at least had a good amount of women interested in him. He is not physically imposing (pretty short actually) and not model looks but he has good genes as he’s maintained his modest good looks and especially a nice smile into his old age. My dad is probably in better shape than me.

He is still a waterman despite being well into retirement age. I believe a large part of this is due to his lack of financial success. My parents will likely divorce or be officially separated in the future as it seems he met another woman and has been dating her. My mom caught him and they’ve had some counseling sessions (but spaced way apart). He wants to retire on some small property he owns in his home country. It hurts my mom quite a lot that he doesn’t think there’s anything there for her. Probably because he just wants to be alone/not with her.

Fuck, that was way more than I meant to write, but there you have it. I realize I need to spend way more time with my dad as he’s getting pretty old and I think I still can learn a lot from him and maybe I learned more from my mom throughout my life and missed learning some of what I could have from my dad.

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~ by aneroidocean on 12/17/2013.

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