Before The Red Pill

Hey all (hope there are still some readers out there), I’ve been slacking hugely on posts, but I have a number of them I’ll be putting up in the next week or so.  Here’s a post I started making on Roosh V Forum that I figured really should be posted here and linked to from my About page:

 

Basically, I’ve never been a bad looking dude, but I was a really late bloomer, didn’t have much style, and I had a real dearth of social experience/knowledge all the way through high school. I had friends that were female and could get along with people fine, but I didn’t really know how to socialize/network, and I definitely didn’t know how to approach girls. I had a HUGE fear of rejection and I just didn’t have the confidence that girls were attracted to me, probably stemming from getting rejected hardcore and embarassed on top of it when I was in elementary school.

Funnily enough, looking back at it, I was rejected by the class slut and I was so embarassingly beta I just have to laugh. Unfortunately, I let it set me up for failure by not ever even trying. So, I graduated high school having never asked for a girl’s number, never attending any of my school dances, never having even kissed a girl if it hadn’t been for a girl in my youth group who was older than me and made a move on me. I dated her briefly, but didn’t know I was supposed to call her or go hang out with her and I didn’t really know I should escalate more physically. I was pretty fucking ecstatic making out with her the few weeks we dated.

Post high-school I met a girl through a friend who was still in high school (both of them were). She would come to nerd parties we had and I’d joke around with her and then finally realized that she might like me since it seemed like this whole “flirting thing” that people had been talking about was happening. Still, it took me until my friend’s mom asked me to house-sit there badass place in the neighborhood where this girl and their whole group of friends lived for me to get the balls to ask her out. Still probably one of the hottest girls I’ve ever dated, she was half japanese half portuguese and pretty sheltered.

Dated that girl for nearly 2 years, she dumped me (I was too beta, she was going to college). I was in a slump for a bit then started hanging out with old high school friends and a girl that briefly went to my high school but was mutual friends with my friends came and hung out and was living with a mutual friend of ours. The mutual friend basically set us up, invited her over to watch a movie with her boyfriend and her and the friend. Didn’t even ask that girl out, just started dating her which ended up being almost 2 and a half years, lost my virginity with that girl at maybe 21 or 22 and finally tried alcohol for the first time around the same age (22 or later).

I’d like to note that apparently she liked me a little in high school and I had NO idea (she was kind of a bitch to me honestly). Slowly after high school it started to come out that a few girls I’d had huge crushes on were actually interested in me then, but I just had NO idea.

Had a rough time with that breakup (again the girl broke up with me, she said she was looking to get married which of course she never did and thankfully I was smart enough then to realize I didn’t want to get married for a long time if at all). Towards the end of the relationship I’d decided to try to swing living at a sweet place by the beach with my best friend as my roommate. After the breakup I slowly started becoming more social and drinking/going out more. I started playing beach volleyball and being more active, eventually started pursuing girls just a little while my friend was slutting it up (he was kinda creeper but tried enough and lowered his standards enough to get laid). I never went to college (took some classes while working full time and mostly dropped them) so I missed out on yet another big opportunity to improve my social abilities. Moving to the beach and what ensued is absolutely one of the biggest steps up in my “game.”

My newfound social confidence (through experience) started attracting girls to me instead of the other way around and I ended up dating a girl that I thought was really attractive. She studied dance and lives on campus at a college not far from where I lived/worked and she worked 2 blocks away from my place. Dated her for three years and she moved to bumfuck egypt to live with her poor ass family and she eventually became a fitness trainer to the rich/famous, started competing in latin ballroom, etc… This was the first girl I really manned up and asked out and got her number. She thought I wasn’t going to call her (because I was pretty drunk when I met her).

I’ve managed to date some pretty attractive/fit/cool girls through having “some” natural alpha in me, but a lot of beta (which is why the relationships ended). Now I’ve got a LOT more social experience and confidence (because I started from basically zero AFTER high school/college years), I long ago realized that rejection really isn’t anywhere near as bad as I blew it up to be and that failure in and of itself is just practice for success. I don’t approach very much, but am slowly getting back into that.

I’m fortunate in that I have a number of attractive female friends (especially through volleyball, but generally with being social/going out/hosting parties at my place) so I can get good interactions with girls and am way more confident/comfortable around them. Many times I’ve had women comment that I’m mysterious or that they think I’m just really good with women because I know/am confident around lots of women and am a social guy (in their eyes). I also have developed my massage skills and am usually pretty happy to help friends (mostly women, but I’ll massage a guy friend to help them out) and do a decent amount of massage trading up to and including right on the beach. Funnily enough while this doesn’t get me laid directly it’s amazing how jealous/intrigued girls will get when they see me massaging a girl and the girl is in heaven.

Well, this was a lot more than I meant to write, but I hope it helps someone or at least gives a better reference point for where I came from and how I lost my virginity without game, but how limited my knowledge/experience started out as. When I think about it, I’m really surprised I was able to land my first two girlfriends without really ever learning how to ask a girl out or for her number and that I was able to maintain a relationship with them for so relatively long. Man, am I glad I started being more social and found game, though. My life improved so much. Networking/socializing is incredibly powerful.

~ by aneroidocean on 04/30/2013.