Girls of 2012 – MILF

Backstory: I’d met this lady only once (I feel like since she’s almost a decade older than me, I have to call her a lady).  We met at a volleyball tournament that a mutual friend ran many months ago.  It was a coed tournament on the beach followed by flip cup afterwards in our other friend’s apartment complex pool area.  I had not been feeling well, so I didn’t participate in the volleyball, but I REALLY wanted to be playing so instead I went down there and hung out in the sun with my friends as many of them were in the tournament.  I socialized, borrowed my friend’s nice DSLR and took lots of action pictures, and ended up giving massages to a few of the female players that I knew (and had become friends with). I like to massage trade with the girls because as athletes we need it, and I never mind massaging a girl in a bikini, even if she’s not specifically my type.  It’s not bad to have a girl in a bikini massaging you on the beach either, but more on that later.  I ended up giving 2 or 3 different girls significant massages (15-30 minutes or more) as once I gave one massage, another girl would ask if she could be next.  Through all this, some girls (they all know each other but don’t all know me) claimed, “wow, you just give ALL the girls massages” and the MILF was one of them.  I ended up talking to her some and even covered the fact that I had very little social skills up to and including the last decade, ESPECIALLY with women.  She teased me about the massage thing, but I held steadfast as it’s not really a sexual thing, but more about helping each other.  Okay there is some flirting sometimes, but it’s all good natured joking around. In being at those types of events I always try to get to know the girls and just plop myself right down in their group if I know even one of the girls in the group.  It’s the beach, it’s really easy to do this especially at a tournament where most of the people are your friends or your friends know them.  It’s just such an easy place to talk to girls because they’re not wearing hardly anything, but they’re being active and social and outgoing.  At SOME point the MILF added me on Facebook and I didn’t think anything of it other than she looked WAY better on Facebook than she did in person (she was fairly covered up face/sunglasses/body when I spoke to her). Fast forward to the present, months since I’d met her.  I get a message on Facebook and the following conversation ensues: December 26, 2011 MILF: i have a question… AO: oh? December 27, 2011 AO: Did you mean to message someone else, MILF? December 28, 2011 MILF: Omg. I’m embarrassed. Idk if I can explain in a message. I can try but I hope u don’t misunderstand AO: Haha, go for it. I’m curious. MILF: well, the other night a friend of mine was over. he doesn’t know anything about facebook and he wanted to see it. so he saw your post and i started telling him the funny story about you. there’s a friend who thinks you’re pretty hot but apparently don’t seem interested in her. so i explained to my buddy how girls reassure each other when that happens, “he must be gay or he would certainly ask you out.” He thought it was funny. he asked if you were really gay. i said “no, i mean i don’t know, but it’s just something we say because we are girls and care about each others feelings (maybe we should care about the truth or something else). anyway, he asked to see the girl who is interested, and i showed him her profile picture. so he says he thinks you are straight. anyway, i had a glass and a half of wine (and i’m a light weight), so i said i would ask and end this urban legend. we would know for sure. by the way, my buddy doesn’t know anyone and he doesn’t live in the area so i was speaking freely. obviously, the girl who is interested in me would kill me if i ever identified her. and you may not want to speak to me again because i sound like a person who gossips but really i don’t! and i have no business talking about your sexual preference at all. that’s the story. please forgive me. [AO NOTE: The girl she’s talking about is the same girl who ran the tournament and who had recently (just before these messages) had a meltdown at my house while Maria was over.  It took me over 30 minutes just to talk this girl down from saying things like, “Why don’t you like me AO?!?!?!” and sobbing uncontrollably.] AO: I’m pretty certain I know who you’re talking about. No, I’m not gay but I have been hit on by gay guys! Are you single? My friend is interested. [AO NOTE: I had been over at my friend’s house showing him the conversation and showing him the MILF’s pictures on Facebook and he was genuinely interested.  The more I looked at the pictures, the more I was too, but it seemed like an easy and honest excuse to find out her situation.] MILF: are you mad? i’m glad i can set the record straight (is that okay) the next time it comes up? i am getting divorced… my husband left me a little more than 6 months ago, but i won’t be divorced for a couple more months. doesn’t that sound pathetic? i never check facebook… can we switch to cell? xxx xxx xxxx TEXTING NOW: 12/28: AO: No, I’m not mad.  Don’t worry about setting the record straight with regards to your friend that is into me, it already got covered before you ever messaged me.  It’s not pathetic.  It would be pathetic if it means so little to you that you had immediately moved on. I only check Facebook a couple times a day, so yeah, text is better.  How’s your hump day? MILF: It’s been tough.  How was yours?  U kno I have more questions now than when I started… AO: Sorry to hear that.  Decent work day, but great friends afterwards, looking forward to the rest of the week.  What questions? 12/29 MILF: I suck at texting too.  Maybe we’ll talk some day and I’ll ask my questions :) 12/30 (Friday) AO: Talking on a phone? Strange concept MILF: UR gonna think i’m lame but I suck at that too… I’m only slightly social in person.  And nicer w a glass a wine.  But since I asked u if ur gay, maybe I should provide the wine…as long as u don’t mind more questions :) [it’s 8:21 PM I figure I’d throw one out there] AO: What time did you have in mind?  It sure is cold out.  do you have a fireplace? MILF: Yes.  3.  And a jacuzzi.  Bring who u want and some answers [I figure, that’s pretty bold of her, but why did she say I could bring who I want?  Probably because she’s not sure she wants anything more than friends, or because she doesn’t want to look too forward.  I figure this is a lot for her to put out there, I need to continue being bold/strong.] AO: I don’t need a chaperone.  Where and when? MILF: Tomorrow is nye… Sunday night, Monday evening? [I plant the idea of us being up late/me spending the night on advice from my friend.] AO: Sunday could work.  I don’t work Monday. MILF: C u Sunday.  Bring a bottle of wine, ur swimsuit and plenty of answers ;) AO: K 12/31 – 8PM New Year’s Eve [Early so as not to give her any ideas that I’m thinking about her anywhere close to party/ball dropping/midnight time] AO: Happy New Year, riddler. MILF: U too.  Looking forward to tomorro :) 1/1 (Sunday) 4:30 PM AO: Beautiful day today.  What time tonight? MILF: Yea I even went for a swim in the ocean 8? Or drinks somewhere sooner?  Lmk what works for u [There is no way in hell I’m taking the out to have drinks somewhere else sooner.  That just adds a logistical nightmare to a first meeting especially compared to her original SIMPLE plan of me bringing a bottle of wine, my swimsuit, and having conversation at her place.  KISS – Keep It Simple Stupid] AO: Sounds nice.  Yeah, 8 is good.  I’ll come over with a bottle of wine and an answer or three.  What’s your address? MILF: [Gives her address which is in a neighborhood with almost no cars on the streets or in driveways (except a stray brand new Mercedes or BMW) and is right next to a fabulous and famous golf course right off the ocean with beautiful views of the water.] 7:40 PM AO: See you in 30 mins MILF: ok Like this but shorter/more petite (and yeah her kids are about this age too): TO BE CONTINUED…

~ by aneroidocean on 01/27/2012.